They're All Idiots
by pupeez4eva
Summary: Sequal to It Makes No Sense! It's on to the 2nd Harry Potter book now. Hiei drags Yusuke and Kuwabara into the conversation as Kurama tries to defend the series and get them to shut the hell up all at the same time.


"I'm surprised the toddler hasn't sent us on any missions lately" Yusuke commented as he, Kuwabara and Kurama walked down the street.

"Don't jinx it. It's nice to get a break once in a while" Kuwabara muttered. "Plus, it means time away from the Shrimp."

"No it doesn't" Kurama replied.

"Oh. And why is that?" Kuwabara asked, frowning slightly.

"Hello Baka."

Kuwabara let out a cry of shock and spun around. Hiei was standing right behind him, a bored expression on his face. Yusuke snorted and Kurama looked amused.

"You...you...I'll get you for that!" Kuwabara yelled, angrily.

Hiei snorted.

"Good luck with that." He turned to Kurama. "Kurama, this stupid book was worse than the first!"

Yusuke peered at the cover of the book Hiei was holding, curiously.

"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets?" he raised one eyebrow. "Didn't think you read things like that."

"Kurama made me" Hiei snapped.

"No I didn't" the red head replied. "Hiei, you took the book yourself, remember?"

The fire demon said nothing for a while. Then:

"It makes no sense!"

"Oh God...not this again..." Kurama groaned. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at him inquisitively.

"What's the big deal?" Yusuke asked.

"You'll see..." Kurama muttered.

"Those idiots from the Ministry didn't even check to see if the boy had really been the one to do the spell before accusing him!" Hiei said, narrowing his eyes angrily. "How stupid could these people be?"

"Hiei...seriously?" Yusuke stared at him.

"I didn't know Shorty liked that series..." Kuwabara said.

"I don't!" Hiei snapped. "Do you not understand anything? I was _complaining _about it! Anyway, back to the argument - how could they be so sure someone else hadn't cast it? Surely those idiots could have noticed the difference between house elf magic and wizard magic!"

"Hiei..." Kurama moaned. "I thought we established this last time. I. Don't. Know."

"I think it has something to do with the wands..." Yusuke said, thoughtfully.

"Yusuke" Kurama rounded on him. "Do _not _encourage him."

"You read the Harry Potter series, Urameshi?" Kuwabara asked, slightly incredulous.

"...Keiko made me" Yusuke replied, defensivley.

"...Yeah Shizuru made me read them as well."

"If it had something to do with the wands then their even more bigger idiots! How could they not realise that the spell wasn't cast from a wand?"

"You know, that's a good question..."

"YUSUKE! Don't encourage him!"

"...And whats the big deal about casting magic at home anyway?"

"Their trying to hide from muggles" Kurama replied, stiffly.

"So much for 'not encouraging him'" Yusuke stage whispered.

"Shut up" Kurama snapped.

"If their trying to hide from muggles so hard then why didn't they check the house for muggles before they sent an OWL flying in? There were two muggles in the house when the owl flew in, they could have realised something! Why didn't those Ministry idiots think about THAT?"

Yusuke and Kuwabara blinked.

"You know, I never thought about any of that..." Kuwabara said, slowly.

"It's a book. Get over it" Kurama muttered.

"You know, on those terms...didn't his friends realise anything was wrong when they found him LOCKED IN HIS BEDROOM?" Yusuke exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Kuwabara agreed. "I mean, that pretty much screams 'abuse' but they didn't even bother to ask him about it. And when they mentioned it to their mother, she didn't think anything strange was going on!"

"Wizards have no logic" Hiei said.

"It's not real!" Kurama ground out.

"Hmm...hey guys...if you know Knockturn Alley? If it's so evil and shady then why not shut it down?" Kuwabara asked, thoughtfully.

"What do you know, the Baka said something smart" Hiei said, smirking at Kuwabara's enraged face.

"But it is true" Yusuke said, quickly, before an argument could break out. "Every says it's a bad place. And that one store, Borgins and Burkes? It has dark magic items on DISPLAY. If the wizard authorities really wanted to see if anything was wrong with the place, they wouldn't even need to go into the store!"

Kurama rubbed a hand to his forehead, and silently cursed himself for ever telling Hiei about the series.

"Do you realise" Hiei said, slowly. "That Ron Weasley couldn't have driven that car to school without the keys to it?"

"Hey yeah!" Yusuke exclaimed. "Unless his parents were complete idiots and left the doors open, they would have needed the key to get inside. Which means..."

"...He obviously had it" Hiei finished off. "What sort of parents GIVE their TWELVE YEAR OLD son the keys to their car?"

Kuwabara whistled.

"That's just asking for trouble."

"Or" Kurama dragged out. "They could have just left the car door open."

"Idiots."

"Maybe. But, remember, their fictional so there isn't anything we can do about it."

"Why didn't the authorities get involved when the car crashed into the school?"

"HIEI! I don't know!"

"They should have. Two twelve year old's crash a car, the car is seen by muggles, wouldn't that be something for them to get involved with? Why does that Dumbledore fellow always deal with things like that? He's only a school principal" Hiei pointed out.

"Mrs. Weasley is obviously a bitch" Yusuke said out of the blue.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Kurama asked, incredulously.

"She didn't even bother to consider how the other people would feel before she sent that howler! Ron and Harry aren't the only people in the school, you know. I doubt the others would want to hear her screaming her arse off."

"Urameshi! She's a women, treat her with some respect!"

"She isn't real!"

"Stop!" Both boys shut up and turned to stare at Kurama. The red-head took a deep breath.

"Your right Yusuke" he said. "She isn't real. Neither is that series. So stop arguing."

"...Why didn't the school shut down after the first attack?"

"Hiei!"

"No really!" the fire demon flung his arms in the air. "Why would they keep the school open if a dangerous creature was roaming inside? Wouldn't it be better to shut the school down, for the safety of the students? And why did the student stay in the school? If he was hurt, he should have been sent to a proper hospital not the SCHOOL NURSE'S!"

There was an awkward pause. Then...

"Is it just me or is Hiei talking more than usual?"

Said demon shot a venomous look at Kuwabara.

"I only speak the truth" he snapped. "Dumbledore is a fool. Who keeps a school open when a bunch of young, not even fully trained children are running around with a dangerous monster on the loose? He's just asking for trouble!"

"...Yeah" Yusuke said, nodding his head. "Dumbledore really is an idiot. And he knew that some creature was causing the attacks. Remember? He said something on the lines of 'not who - what' ... or something."

"Oh God" Kurama moaned. "You remember his exact words?"

"No!" Yusuke protested. "I...err...but you know, if he knew there was a creature in the school causing strange attacks he should have done something about it! Especially since he knew that something like that happened before and someone DIED that time!"

Kurama sighed.

"If...if the school had been shut down there wouldn't have been a storyline."

"Why'd they send Hagrid to Azkaban with no evidence?"

Kurama squeezed his eyes shut, counted to ten and then took a deep breath.

"...He was previously accused of causing the attacks."

"But they expelled him with no proof but the word of some stupid Slytherin!"

"Slytherin prejudice again" Hiei muttered. "Idiots, blaming Slytherin for everything. Just because Tom Riddle was a Slytherin didn't automatically mean he was lying."

"Uh...Hiei...Tom Riddle turned out to be Voldemort" Yusuke pointed out.

"But his house had nothing to do with it!" the fire demon argued.

"That's not the point!" Kuwabara snapped. "The point is they expelled him without any proof!"

"He would have been expelled anyway" Hiei pointed out. "He'd been raising a dangerous animal in the school."

"...But..." Kuwabara blinked. "They still..."

"Maybe he wouldn't have been in so much trouble" Yusuke reasoned. "Since his spider hadn't actually hurt anyone he might have been let of with an easier punishment. Also...how could anyone think Hagrid planned the attacks? He couldn't have been Slytherin heir!"

"Unless Slytherin's heir had sex with a giant. Hey...is that even possible? Having sex with a giant?" Kuwabara asked, curiously.

"No. Because giants aren't real" Kurama ground out.

"You know what I'd like to know?" Hiei said. "I'd like to know why no one knew about any of this outside of Hogwarts. The authorities should have gotten involved. What is with everything in that stupid world being run by Dumbledore? He's a school principal! He's not almighty!"

"Yeah! And he left the saftey of the school to two twelve year old children!" Yusuke exclaimed. "He basically told them to follow a bunch of spiders and almost get themselves killed. He didn't tell any of the ADULTS the ones IN CHARGE what was going on. What the hell could two kids do?"

"Yeah!" Kuwabara agreed. "And why did the teachers send LOCKHART, the dumbest of all the teachers after Ginny Weasley?"

"Petty revenge" Hiei replied, cooly. "They wanted to scare him. But by doing that, the idiots put the girls life in danger."

"...I have to agree" Kurama muttered, reluctantly. "It _was _petty. They knew Lockhart was an incompetent teacher, yet they still sent him to get Ginny and didn't bother to do anything themselves."

Hiei smirked.

"Getting into the conversation, Fox?"

"No" Kurama snapped. "I was just...stating a fact."

"Suuuuure" Yusuke grinned. "Just like I'm about to state a fact...why didn't Dumbledore give Harry any instructions on what to do with the sorting hat? It just appeared in the chamber, and he had no idea what to do with it. If he hadn't figured it out himself then he and Ginny and the ENTRE school would have been in danger!"

"I think he wanted to be criptic" Kurama murmured, thoughtfully. "Though it was very stupid...not that I'm intesrtested in any of this of course."

"Mmm-hmm" Yusuke rolled his eyes. "And yeah, Dumbledore and his criptic-ness. He's going to get a lot of people killed with that."

"He belongs in Slytherin" Hiei said. "Manipulative old Baka." He frowned. "I still can't understand how people could be such prejudice idiots. When Harry was accused of being Slytherins heir EVERYONE turned on him. Because they THOUGHT he could have been the heir of Slytherin when all the proof they had was that he could talk to snakes. Why is that? Its not like Salazar Slytherin _invented _the ability. Others could have had it."

"Good point" Yusuke nodded his head. "And I think it was pretty shit how everyone turned on him in a second just because of something like that. Assholes."

"Dumbledore's a pretty big asshole too" Kuwabara said. "When Harry asked if he was meant to be in Slytherin he didn't try to reasure him that Slytherin's weren't bad. He told Harry that he belonged in Gryffindor and made some cryptic talk about how Harry made a choice or something that put him in the right house..."

"...And all the while he acted like Gryffindor was the best" Yusuke finished.

"Pulling a sword from a hat makes you a true Gryffindor. _Really?" _Hiei smirked. "In my opinion, Godric Gryffindor was the biggest asshole of them all. Only a Gryffindor could pull the sword out...he was meant to be a headmaster to more than just the GRYFFINDORS! What about the Ravenclaws, the Hufflepuffs and the Slytherins? What if THEY were in a life and death situation and needed the sword but couldn't pull it out because they weren't from the house of heroic baka's?"

"...So basically everyone in that series are idiots?"

"Yes" Hiei said. "Yes they are."

"Are you done?" Kurama finally spoke up after his long silence. He looked exhausted.

"Yeah we're done" Yusuke confirmed.

"Good" Kurama walked off. "Hiei don't even think of taking the next book in the series."

"Like I would want too" the fire demon muttered.

* * *

><p>Hours later when Kurama walked to his bookshelf to find something good to read, he groaned.<p>

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was back in it's spot on the shelf.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was gone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**AND there was the sequal. Hope it was alright, and not too OOC.**

**You know, when you look deeper into it, there ARE a lot of weird problems in the Harry Potter series...**

**Review please!**


End file.
